This isn’t a review, this is just what I thought about the movie. So I may or may not drop spoilers. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Last night I checked out Machete. If you’ve been following this blog or know me personally. I’ve been waiting for this film. Well I saw it and man that was one crazy ass movie. Senseless violence at it’s best. Body parts getting chopped off in the 1st 5 minutes and that goes throughout the entire movie.
Now from the looks of it you would think Machete is just that, senseless violence, bad acting and no story. Well the violence is there. Bad acting no sir, everyone is playing this movie the way it should be. Very tongue and cheek. No one is going for an Oscar but their still taking the movie seriously. As for the story it’s simple and that’s all it needs to be, it isn’t dumb or make you feel dumb. Remember this is a Robert Rodriguez movie not Micheal Bay.
Like I said the story is simple, Machete tells the story of Machete a former Mexican Police officer who now works as a day laborer in Texas. He’s offered a job to assassinate a politician, he’s double crossed and sets out to take revenge on those who tried to kill him. Along the way he meets a immigration Officer played by Jessica Alba, A Taco stand worker who is more than she seems played by Michelle Rodriguez and a slew of other memorable characters. The villains where hilarious and fun to watch, Robert DeNiro as the Texas politician was amazing you could see the George Bush in him. Steven Seagal stole the show as Machete’s nemesis, Don Johnson plays a racist border patrol officer that you have to see.
The best part was getting to see Danny Trejo play the hero. Every movie he’s the scary mexican guy. This time he’s the MAN!!! And he should be. I have renewed my love for Michelle Rodriguez,she owned every scene she was in. Jessica Alba still can’t act, but she had the best line of the movie. “We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us!!!!” Lindsay Lohan is barely in it but her scenes are funny as hell same for Cheech Marin anything he’s in is great.
I don’t know to many movies that can have girls pull a cell phone out of her vagina, but this movie did and so much more. Honestly I had a great time enjoyed myself the movie was worth the wait and lived up to all the hype. So now the countdown begins for Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again.